The Effects of Facebook
By Carly Mathiot
I used to be a social butterfly; I was outgoing, I never felt like I had to make excuses not to see my friends. I was always nervous to make the commitment of seeing someone. What if I had nothing to say?
Until I was fourteen, there was no other way to communicate other than making a phone call, making plans and talking to your friend in person. That's how I did it. I didn't text much.
Ever since then, I slowly started hanging out with my friends less. I'd talk to them on Facebook and then when we got together in person, there was nothing to say.
When you're on facebook, it feels like you're being social. You are in this virtual world where you have friends and you chat with them and see their pictures. It gives you the illusion and the feeling socialization, but you are really all by yourself.
I began to be afraid of going out and talking to people because I was afraid of having nothing to say. For a while I literally became a hermit and for quite a while, I didn't text or talk to anyone on facebook or otherwise.
I could never tell who my friends were. on facebook I currently have 188 friends. I hardly know any of them. I read their posts, like them, comment. its very rare we see each other in person and I'm sure there are some I've never met.
Sure, facebook claims to connect people, but only virtually, not physically. Having a facebook and letting myself build a comfort zone around myself has caused me to miss so many opportunities.
I get invited to hang all the time, but because its out of my little virtual comfort zone, where you can leave the conversation anytime, I miss out on having real relationships. There are no commitments, there's no face to face, there's no confrontation on facebook. on facebook i am safe.
I have never been on a real date or ever had a boyfriend. i'll talk to boys on the internet, but if they ask me out face to face, I lie. I lie and tell them I can't. I'm to scared to go out. Having a facebook has affected my romantic life as well as my social life.
once again, being put on the spot, being taken out of my comfort zone, I instantly recoil from the thought and hide in my bed to watch others live via facebook.
I'm not blaming facebook, but I am blaming myself for letting facebook be my happy place. It's become a wall, cutting me off from the world with only a brick missing so I can see what's out there, but I can't be a part of it.
I've become lonely and depressed. I'll go on facebook to seek social interaction on a holiday or spring break, and there will literally be no one on facebook. that's when I really feel alone and desperate.
The illusion of a social life is shattered and the realization that everyone else is out living their lives without me hits home. I've slowly been reaching out again. I even joined a dating site. I call people I trust to hang out, but still its hard for me to be alone with someone.
I still feel the need to be in a group so I don't feel pressure to make conversation. I still hide among other peoples lives instead of making a path of my own. I'm a tag along girl who only comes out at night because she's afraid of what sunlight will show her. no one really knows who she is and what she's like. This is what I have let happen to me and now I have to pick up the pieces.
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